“The Earth is what we all have in common.” Wendell Berry
We humans are a disagreeable lot. Wouldn’t you agree? We tend to seek comfort in being right, which can mean that others must be wrong.
On Monday, April 8, 2024, along with millions of other humans, we set aside our differences and lifted our gaze to the sky. The very sky we share with every single being on earth.
We earthlings gathered in mass to behold a total eclipse of the sun. The sun and the moon showed us that powerful divergent forces can come together.
Birds hushed. Crowds fell silent. People embraced. Prayers of gratitude were said as the moon slid into alignment with the earth’s path around the sun.
A moment of spontaneous unity and universal appreciation was observed. And, we humans would universally agree on one thing. When the moon respectfully eclipsed the sun, it was totally awesome.
Totality.
We celebrated a moment of spontaneous unity. A moment of universal appreciation. A moment of reverence.
“I would pay a million dollars to see that again.” folks were heard to say.
No mass shootings reported.

Challenge #31
Where were you when the moon aligned with the sun?
What most inspired you?
What lessons will you take?
How can you use that experience to Just Keep Growing?
Jeanne
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Jerry Seinfeld was once asked to speak to students in a comedy class. His very first words to them were “The fact that you even signed up for this class is a very bad sign.” The students laughed, but Seinfeld wasn’t joking. His point being that you probably cannot learn to be comedic from a professor of comedy.

In his book, “Is This Anything?” Jerry owns up that he still does not know exactly where jokes come from. He calls it a kind of “silly putty of the mind that enables you to reform what you see into what you want it to be.”

Jerry admits that he is not naturally outgoing or attention seeking. “Being a stand-up comedian requires you to constantly justify why you are talking to a room full of people with material that might make them laugh or it might not. You have to love the business of making jokes. Madly.”

Jerry did study, he remembers. He read a book called The Last Laugh by Phil Berger about the world of stand-up comedy. And he saw a Dustin Hoffman movie about the life of Lenny Bruce. And then he knew exactly what he wanted to be and do.

“But..what if I’m not funny?” “But…what if I’m just funny enough to buy a loaf of Wonder Bread and a jar of Skippy Peanut Butter each week?” Done deal. Jerry got busy testing his material in front of a live mike wherever he could… just for the thrill of it.

Five decades into the funny business, this is how Jerry Seinfeld Just Keeps Growing. In Jerry’s classroom, the test comes before the lesson.

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*Content Warning: contains sensitive content referencing self harm*

Life in the heart of the heartland is extraordinarily ordinary. Simple and sane most of the time. People who choose to live here seem content with the slower pace.

Nestled along the banks of the Missouri River, our little town has much to offer:

Don’t be fooled by our laid-back lifestyle. Volunteerism is huge here. With multiple ways to contribute to something meaningful, the engagement level amongst citizens is contagious. Whether through church, service organizations or volunteering for a favorite cause, folks give generously of their time, talent, and treasure. Generous beyond measure…the folks in our little town.

All of this wonderful energy and dedication helps make our lives worth living while enabling others to live their best life.

And yet, for the second spring in row now, men in their prime chose to end their own life. Young men who lived and worked here. Two men last spring. Two men this spring. This week. And, I wonder.

I wonder. Did my daily round intersect with theirs? Did our paths cross? I’m pretty sure I know the answer, given the tininess of our town.

Might a gesture of kindness on someone’s part have made a difference? These questions have no answers. But still, we wonder.

Two suicides in one week. This week.

What did we miss?

Are we busy being busy? Too busy to notice?

Challenge #33
What about you?

What are your true priorities?

It’s okay if they don’t just trip off your tongue.

You might need to schedule a meeting with yourself. Preferably in the park or

your favorite recreational space.

To listen. To remember. To reconnect with what’s most important to you, right
now.

Who do you want to be? How do you want to be?

And why?

What’s stopping you?

Love, jeanne…doing it with you not to you

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Do you talk to yourself? If you are reading this and saying “I have no idea what she means,” that’s what I mean.

Well, I talk to myself… a lot. I am noticing that what I say to myself is pretty much how my day will go. There are a couple of words that seem innocent enough. The words “I am.”

Add the little word “so” as in I am so hungry. I am so tired. I am so bored. And it’s as if I’ve come under a spell.

Whether speaking aloud, or to ourselves, these four little words are surprisingly potent.

For example, I decide to consume only healthy snacks. I’m making better choices everyday and seeing the benefits.

I am so hungry can lead straight to the Snickers bar solution. That bag of Snickers, I suddenly remember it. And as if I am magnetized, I find myself standing in front of the pantry, grabbing a Snickers, smacking my lips, and wondering how I got there.

I have noticed that the more carefully I choose my words, the better my decisions and actions. These choices accumulate and lead to a healthier, happier me.

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It’s high noon. It’s pitch dark. It’s not an eclipse. It’s tornado season in the heartland. At this very moment, 50 million Americans are under a severe weather threat. With widespread devastation and damage across a dozen states, more tornadoes are possible.

With every clap of thunder, I think of my Grandpa Banjo. He was friendly with thunder. I think because it brought along a nice rain to help his garden grow. I’ve tried to make friends with thunder.

I know folks who love tornados. They even chase them. Tornados chase me. I do not love tornados.

I just returned from a peaceful retreat with a group of wonderful women. Alas, tornados touched down near us whilst we were retreating.

Our group barely acknowledged the chaos. Choosing to stay purposeful and peaceful, we carried on. We could have sheltered just in case, but we remained focused on our purpose for being together. We chose to be peaceful amidst the storm.

Maybe I’ll strike up a friendship with thunder. I can see my grandfather tamping down his pipe ever so particularly. After tinkering and testing, he would light up and take a long slow draw. He did not mind thunder. I thought him to be wise. Grandpa Banjo has been gone for decades now. His pipe still smells of black cherry tobacco. I take comfort in remembering him on scary days like today.

Maybe, I’ll curl up with my cat, a hot cup of tea and a good book. Maybe I’ll schedule a massage. Or light up my pipe.

When you feel threatened by conditions outside your control, do you notice yourself tightening up? Stressing? Worrying? Obsessing?

Terrorizing yourself?

We humans tend to react to stressful or fearful situations in one of three ways:

1.Fight.

2.Flight.

3. Freeze.

When those dark storm clouds roll in, we can take a moment to check in. To see how we’re feeling. Fear is a natural reaction to a perceived threat.

We have options. When we pause for just a moment, we gain access to our better brain. The part of our brain where creativity lives.

Our better brain takes us to a place where all is calm. A place where we can choose. Where we can respond, rather than react out of fear.

I’m pretty sure Grandpa Banjo was having a little visit with his better brain when he tamped down his pipe ever so slowly. I do wonder what he was thinking.

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Isn’t that a lovely thought? I don’t even know who to attribute the quote to, but here it is in its entirety.

“It’s never too late to reinvent yourself. Start a new career at 40. Fall in love at 50. Learn to dance at 60. Start a whole new life at 70. Stop saying you can’t. You can and you should. Dreams don’t have an expiration date.” Unattributed.

Here are a few more I’ve been saving up for a rainy day. It’s raining.

“Nothing in the Universe can stop you from letting go and starting over.” Guy Finley

“This thing we call failure is not the falling down, but the staying down.” Mary Pickford

“Although no one can go back and make a new start, anyone can start from now and make a new ending.” Carl Bard

“You can learn new things any time in your life if you are willing to be a beginner. If you like being a beginner, the whole world opens up to you.” Barbara Shur

“Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.” Duke Turner

My Uncle Richard returned to cycling in his 90’s. He cycled the hills in our town, about 15 miles, on his 90 th birthday with a few friends and was awarded a plaque by our mayor for being the oldest cyclist in the city.

He took up painting a couple of years later and left us with his impressions of local scenery.

He appreciated a good conversation and loved to dance. He never had trouble finding a date.

What dreams are quietly awaiting your attention? You know, the ones.

The ones you’ve filed away in your “forget it for a while file.” Be honest.

Be brave. It’s not too late.

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I just got off the phone with one of my favorite clients. She needed a bit of coaching: To identify and sort through her options. To listen to herself think. To help her create a sense of clarity.

She loves her current job. She has a wonderful boss who appreciates her contributions and believes in her unlimited potential. He encourages and enables her to increase her span of leadership; he invests in her professional development. It is my privilege to coach her as she systematically increases the value she brings to the organization and to everyone who looks to her for leadership.

So, what’s the problem? She has an opportunity to accept a new position in another part of the business. To increase her knowledge of the business as a whole. But….she can grow in her current role as well. And, she is extremely respected for her expertise. We call this a mighty fine briar patch in the leadership coaching community.

The briar patch is comprised of mixed opinions and competing directions. And then there’s the voice in the head reminding us that we’re not good enough…or we don’t have enough experience, knowledge, talent, guts. Encouraging us to play it safe. And what about that fresh new opportunity to learn a new discipline? And increase our value to the entire organization?

My client and I talked through a set of criteria to help her weigh one option against the other. A decision-making process emerged. What initially seemed like a complex decision was broken into a logical process.

It’s natural to experience overwhelm and confusion when faced with a big decision. What am I meant to do next? Who am I meant to become? What if it doesn’t work out? What if I fail? Briar Patch Chit chat. We’ll likely hear from our little pals Not Enough and Not Good Enough. Ignore them? Not possible.

Just take them to lunch and thank them for their concern. Assure them that you are up to learning new roles and new skill sets. And that you are safe. Afterall, they only want what’s best for you.

And Remember…..It’s never too late to reinvent yourself.

Are you weighing an important decision? Is it time to make up your mind?

Here’s a thought. Make the decision that feels best for you now.

Execute it. Proactively search for evidence (small and large) that you made the right choice. Appreciate yourself for being gutsy. Don’t look back. Just Keep Growing.

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Because I want to live a very cool life, I picked up a copy of The Very Cool Life Code by Drew Rozell, PhD. An inspiring read.

I love the idea of living a very cool life. But, what does that even mean?

We are in the middle of a cicada reunion here. Cicadas come from middle earth every 7 or 8 years. They party like there’s no tomorrow. And, then they die. Mythology has it that cicadas are symbols of carefree living and immortality. Some could say they live a very cool life.

Ralphie, the cat. He lives a very cool life, napping, eating, and playing. Repeating.

Our tiny deck is surrounded by big trees. Reading and sipping coffee amongst the birds, the bees and the trees…well…that feels very cool to me.

I love cycling through farm land, wine country and the wee whistle stops on local trails. Particularly, the KATY Trail which stretches east to west from one end of our state to the other.

I get a kick out of spending time with family, 4 generations of us. Blessed beyond measure. I love hanging out with my twin moms. And visiting the family farm. It was established in 1870. 1870, Wow!

I enjoy hanging out with my best friends, including husband, Hank. We share morning time, good books, movies, meals, and music. And a lot of laughs.

It’s cool to travel somewhere new. To pick up on the local vibe and pretend to live there. If even for a day.

Then there are the Greats. We have 16 great nieces and nephews 11 and under. We will congregate in a couple of months for a family celebration. I’m thinking of sponsoring a puppet show written, produced and performed by the Greats. That will be very cool.

These are but a few of the things that make up my very cool life.

Like the ever-enduring Seinfeld show… where nothing is indeed something, you get to script your own Very Cool Life.

Take stock. What would make your very cool life even cooler?

Infinitely, insanely cooler? Well. What’s stopping you? Take a tip from

the cicadas and get cracking

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The title of the book, So Much Things to Say, caught my attention. Written by Roger Steffens, it is one of an estimated 500 books about Bob Marley, legendary Jamaican musician, lyricist and activist.

Born into an impoverished childhood in a Jamaican ghetto, Marley was said to have a reach like no other. Marley’s songs sailed past borders touching so many people around the world.

Backed by the tight harmonies of the Wailers, Marley’s music transcended musical genres and created a powerful sense of unity. The group’s mission was to uplift the oppressed and marginalized. To shed light on social and political issues. To advocate for peace, equality and justice.

Robert Nesta Marley truly had so much things to say in his 36 years with us. Here are a few of Marley’s thoughts just for you.

This Week’s Challenge:
Listen to a little Marley. Let me know if it speaks to you

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Not to brag, but I got to hang out with a couple of hot sky divers and their instructor last week. And, they even gave us an impromptu lesson in sky diving.

We (Cousin Mary and me) could not help but notice the divers surveying the weather conditions as they considered a jump. Off a tall bridge. Into a roaring river. Fed by a ferocious water fall.

Alas, the conditions were imperfect and so the trio would have to postpone their jump for a few hours. That meant that they were happy to entertain us with a proper schmooze and share. We, the chosen, felt privileged to listen and learn.

We were shown how the chute worked…or how it was meant to work. We learned the mechanics for activating the chute at precisely the right millisecond.

I asked how they would spend their time waiting for the right conditions. “Easy. We’ll think about the jump and practice our moves.” They began to illustrate. These guys jump for joy. Even as they visualize their next jump, they feel the joy.

My cousin, the thrill seeker, immediately added sky diving to her bulging bucket list. I chose to prioritize sky diving somewhere between snuggling with alligators and swimming with sharks.

I find myself in free fall all too often, I reasoned. Why should I go looking for more scary stuff? Nope. Not me. I did pause to ask myself how many interesting experiences and adventures I automatically rule out?

Today’s Lesson: Leading one’s life is a risky business. Next Lesson: Not leading one’s life is a risky business.

As I continue to mull this over, I invite you to mull along with me.

What’s on your scary things list?

What risks are you not taking?

Why?

What compromises are you making?

Why?

What wonderful adventures might you be missing?

Why not?

“Security is mostly superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.” Helen Keller